Love In the Time of Technology
Relationship between Technology and Love
Technology has been a great tool to help optimize business. There are many benefits that technology offers to everyone in certain areas of their life. Love, is not one of the areas that benefits from technology. Some may say that single people still benefit from finding people using social media. Electronics can become an issue for established relationships. As I observe people out and about with their partners, I often find people that are sitting or walking next to each other but they appear to be too distracted by their phones. Distracted people are unable to enjoy the moment that is happening right in front of them. This can make the interaction difficult for both people involved.
How Technology grabs attention
Technology is fun, new and interesting. From the begining of time, computer software developers have done a great job at creating software that people are attracted to. Currently, it is possible to have access to anything and everything from your fingertips. Information comes with ease to all people because computers are no longer required to be pulled into technology. Most people have a smart phone, with apps and internet access everywhere they go. This creates a constant pull towards the phone. This is a problem because people then spend less quality time with the people around them, including the person they love. Being constantly on your phone leaves less quality time to focus on the present moment interactions. There is more information about this in the book Irresistible
Problems in Relationships
It is true that some relationships carry other issues. Issues can become aggravated by being constantly in second place to someone’s phone. Oftentimes, people are already feeling upset, or resentful towards their partner. Constantly being on the phone adds a safety barrier that stops issues from being addressed in a healthy manner. It is important to treat your partner with respect, love and compassion. To solve the issues in the relationship from the root, you need to dig deeper and find a more intimate connection. In order to connect to a human being it is important to put the phone/computer/tablet down and talk. To learn more about overcoming issues in relationships you can read Love is Never Enough.
What to do next?
There are some steps you can take to help you start improving your relationship if you feel that this article describes your situation.
- Look at eachother in the eye and talk face to face when an issue arises. Do not wait until the problem is bigger to talk about it. Talk about it early on and be compassionate with your partner. Waiting can cause emotional explosions.
- Create No Phone Zones or No Phone Times. Having a designated time or place that is free of electronics can help create a safe place where you can be intimate and talk with nothing to get in the way.
- Have dates with no electronics allowed. This is similar to the no phone time or zone but it is an aggreement where you know you will be out with your partner and both agree to be free of electronics.
- Get Help. If you feel like the issues you have encountered are overwhelming and these tips do not help call someone that may be able to help. There are couples counselors that are waiting to help people come closer together.
Wendy Salazar is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the city of Burbank. Please contact with furhter questions or to schedule an appointmentcontact me.